When You're Gone
by Fang lover23
Summary: When Katie has to witness Kendall walk away, can she hold up? She knows he's being noble, but everything is starting to fall apart. He's going off to be a hero for her, and it's taking everyone everything they have to keep it together. AU.
1. Part I

**So, now that I'm on Christmas break, I thought I would finally post this story. I've had this part written for about 2 months; but now that I know where I want to take this, it's as good a time as ever to post it.**

**I always wanted to do a Katie/Kendall sibling fic. I just love the protectiveness Kendall has for her! :)**

**This is AU, so there was no audition, no BTR, no Hollywood; nothing from the show except the boys' friendship and their personalities. This story takes place in 2012 (and _no_, this is not an apocalypse fic, just in case you thought that from seeing that date) so Kendall and the guys are 18, and Katie is 12.**

**And just an FYI, this will be a three-part story...well, at least, that's what I'm planning on. Now that I think about it, I may end up writing an epilogue or adding more chapters because of where I can see this story taking _itself_. Curse me and my OCD with _needing_ a complete ending.**

**And just a last note, this subject may be a little uncomfortable to some. No slash, but this was really tough for me to write. It's kind of a touchy subject, and with me being who I am, I never thought that I would write a fic like this. But it's all for the sib-fic. You'll see what I mean. Just read!**

**This is loosely based off of the Avril Lavigne song "When You're Gone".**

**

* * *

**

She never thought this day would come.

She had been dreading it for months. Even at such a young age, she understood what was happening; but though she was cleverer than anyone her age, she still couldn't begin to fathom _why_.

Why did he have to be so noble? Why did he have to commit to something so dangerous? Why couldn't he have decided to stay home and catch some cheap thrills with his best friends? Why was he leaving them? Why did the littlest of the group have to watch the only father-figure in her life walk away?

It just didn't make sense.

Yet here they all were- James, Carlos, and Logan stood together, but left some room between themselves and the family moment unfolding a dozen feet away. They'd had their time with him; the trio had no problem letting Momma Knight have a moment with her two babies. It would be the last time they'd all be in the same room for who-knows-how-long.

Standing at the airport terminal entrance, it was taking all of Katie Knight's will power to _not_ cry. She wouldn't let herself; she had to be strong like her older brother.

Mrs. Knight had no such promise to keep, however. She wept freely as she held her first-born bone-crushingly close. Kendall didn't mind- on the contrary, he was committing his mother's tight embrace to memory, so that feeling of almost too much love could be brought up in his mind for whenever he'd need it in the coming months. He knew he would.

So he stayed that way, wrapped in his mother's arms. He had momentarily lost his ability to speak, so he thanked her for everything she'd ever done for him. She'd given him so much, yet he'd given so little back. It was an impossible task to make it up to her, but he had to try.

Still, no words were shared between the mother and son- none could be formed, but none were needed. They'd hugged for a full ten minutes before Mrs. Knight pulled away, eyes glistening and cheeks tear-stained, to grab Kendall's face in her hands. She whispered, "I love you, baby," and kissed his forehead tenderly.

Kendall smiled, his eyes full of tears as well, and moved to clutch his mother's hand like he was eight years old again. "I know I never told you this as often as I should have growing up, but- I love you too, mom. Always will." He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Mrs. Knight let out a deep breath, smiling sadly and proudly and gently dropped her hand from her son's. She turned toward her youngest child, letting her know it was her turn with Kendall.

Walking up to her brother, Katie plastered a smile on her face, hoping to ease any of Kendall's worry about her. But as the realization dawned on her, she felt her carefully-built wall begin to crumble. Brick by brick, her façade shattered until she was tumbling into the strong arms that had picked her up so many times when she'd fallen down in the past. Forgetting that she was supposed to be keeping the water works at bay, twelve-year-old Katie Knight broke the dam in her eyes and just cried; cried for him, cried for mom, the boys, everyone who'd ever known him. It wasn't the fact that he was deploying to Afghanistan that upset her- it was the truth that she didn't know when she'd ever see him again. Alive or not.

And the 'not' part scared her into hysterics.

No one had ever seen the tween cry like this. Sure, she had shed a few tears when she'd fallen down her first time riding a two-wheeler and when she'd broken her first bone as a nine-year-old. Heck, she'd even secretly shed a few tears between her trips to the hospital to see Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos after their many encounters with accidental stupidity. But this was a whole new level of sadness.

_It should be illegal to have to watch a baby sister cry like that_, Logan thought to himself bitterly. All the boys thought of Katie as their little sister, none of them having one at home themselves. (Carlos was the middle of three boys, and James and Logan were only children.) It stabbed at their hearts to see Katie such a mess. But they stood back, allowing Kendall and Katie a brother-sister moment.

Katie stayed silent as her sobs receded, her tongue swelled in her mouth, stopping all the words that were on her mind. But what could she say? Kendall was dedicated to this mission. Nothing could change his mind about leaving. He _needed_ to do this. This was just typical Kendall Knight: being the ever-so-overprotective one, it would be just like him to want to risk his life for not only his mother, sister, and best friends, but he wanted to protect the _other_ three-hundred million people in America.

And it also didn't help Katie's situation that Kendall wanted to be like their dad. He'd served in the Gulf War as a Lieutenant Colonel, but had been killed eight months into his first tour in the Iraq War. That was eight years ago- eight years that Kendall spent taking over his father's role in the house. He had to be there for them because Kevin Knight never would be again. He always wanted to be their Knight in shining armor: his dad made him promise to take care of the girls if something were to ever happen to him. And that's what he did, what he _was_ doing.

"Kendall," Katie finally choked out. Her pleading tone made the blonde ready-for-battle soldier almost lose it. Slowly, he lowered himself and Katie into a nearby chair, setting her on his lap. She curled into him, clutching his light green shirt for dear life, as the tears began to flow again. In return, Kendall tightened his hold around her slight frame, encasing her in a grip that made her feel safe from the world. In her brother's arms, Katie was protected, never in harm's way. What was she going to do now that he wouldn't be there for her?

"Look at me, baby sister."

Reluctantly, Katie glanced up into his eyes. His green orbs (inherited from their father, as well) were red-rimmed, puffy, and wet. He looked a mess. But she could still see his compassion and love for the family through his tears. He gently grabbed her face in his hands, forcing her to sit up straight on his lap. "Katie," he began, looking hard into her eyes. "I love you. I know we may have had our differences growing up." At this, Katie cracked a small grin. "But you're still my baby sister, and you always will be. I care _so_ much about you. And mom. You know how I am- I _need_ to do this. I'm doing this for you." He rubbed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away a few stray tears. "I need to protect you. I don't expect you to understand why I'm doing it in this fashion, but it's all for _you_." Katie blinked. "I just don't want to let you and mom and the guys down." His voice broke on the last word, sending a fresh wave of hot, salty tears down his face.

The young girl looked up at him. "But what am I gonna do when you're gone?" Her voice sounded tiny and frightened.

Kendall looked down at her lovingly, smiling sadly. "You'll figure something out. But always keep me in your heart. Let Logie, Jay, and Carlitos help you. They'll always be here for you. You're their little sister, too." He hugged her tighter as they both glanced over at the aforementioned group behind them.

Katie gladly wrapped her tiny arms around her brother's army-toned waist, and was close to letting loose again as she heard a couple soft sobs escape his lips above her.

"Promise me one thing, Kendall."

"Anything for you, Katie," he breathed.

Katie paused, trying to keep the lump of despair in her throat down. "Promise me you'll come back. _Alive_."

The blonde stared at her blunt request, but smiled softly and said, "I promise. Only for you, Katie."

Katie smiled at him pensively, never wanting to leave this spot. Getting up meant he would have to leave. As he began to stand up, Katie panicked and whispered, "Don't go."

"It kills me to leave you Katie, it _really does_, but I have to." He squeezed her strongly one last time. "I'll make you proud."

In that instant, the tween knew everything would be alright. Kendall _never_ broke promises like that. "Okay, big brother. But remember," she paused to make sure he was looking at her. "I look up to you."

He smirked and took a deep, shaky breath before kissing her for a final time on her forehead- something he hadn't done since the day she was born.

Carlos, sensing their moment was drawing to a close, interrupted. "Group hug!"

Kendall would never forget the feeling of all the people he loved most in a huddle like that. Holding Katie's hand the whole time, he finally untangled himself from them when he heard his cue over the loudspeaker. "Flight 674 to Washington-Dulles is now boarding." It was his first flight; he'd take a connecting from there to Afghanistan.

He picked up his carry-on and headed for the gate, still grasping Katie's hand. He turned to them again. "I love you all. I'll write you anytime I have free time! I just want you to know that you've all been there for me and I'll keep that in mind over there. Let me make you proud." With that, he gave his little sister's hand a final squeeze and departed, tears still in his eyes.

Watching Kendall round the corner was the hardest thing the group of (now) five had ever experienced. And once the tall blonde was out of sight, Katie began wobbling unsteadily back to her mother. Before she could make it, she collapsed in hysteria. Luckily, James caught her before she hit the ground and lightly scooped her up bridal style.

Logan looked worriedly at the faces in their circle and motioned to Momma Knight. "I think it's time we go. We should get Katie back to bed to rest." He hesitated for a moment. "We all should."

Kacy Knight couldn't argue with that, so they all filed out of the airport and to the parking garage where the Knight's van was parked. They all slumped in, James still with Katie in his arms.

Too tired to move her limbs, Katie succumbed to the darkness that engulfed her, never once letting her thoughts wander away from Kendall's last words for her.

"_I promise. Only for you."_

**

* * *

**

"_Kendall?"_

_Katie looked around at the sandy wasteland around her. Where was she? All she knew was that she needed her brother. The urge to just _see_ him was so overpowering she could barely stand upright._

"_Kendall?" she screamed; the echo was carried away by the howling wind._

"_Kendall!" She was desperate this time. Each call with no answer brought her closer and closer to hysterics. She couldn't lose him._

_Looking around frantically, she took off in a random direction. As she ran, the wind whipped sand around her, biting her skin like sandpaper. Te wind picked up and soon it became difficult to keep her eyes open without getting a million particles shot into her emerald eyes. She pulled her thin jacket around her tighter and trudged on._

"_Kendall!" she tried again, but to no avail. Her heart sank further with each passing second. She fell to her knees, deflated, and managed to whimper a weak "Big brother…"_

_Katie curled up into herself, knowing no response would come. Though this time was no different from the last, the tears finally flowed warm and liquid down her cheeks. Her throat ached with lost hope and fear; a body-wracking sob threatened to break free. She let a couple squeaks out, but reminded herself that she needed to stay strong for her mother. Kendall wasn't coming back, so what were they going to do now?_

_A swift breeze pulled at Katie's jacket and hair. As the badlands assaulted her with the grit around her, she heard a soft cry. "Katie…"_

_A small gasp escaped her lips and her head instantly shot up, searching for the disembodied voice. Looking to her right, she saw a vague silhouette through the sandstorm ahead of her._

_The tween uncurled herself and slowly crawled into a crouch. Hesitantly, she called out to the shadow. "Kendall…?"_

_The figure took a step toward her in reaction to her voice. Katie stood up off of the desert floor and reached her arm out as she walked toward the presence. Tears of blissful disbelief built up in her eyes and her throat began constricting from the sob of joy ready to explode out of her. "Kendall?"_

"_Katie…"_

_As she came closer, the shadow began taking form. First Katie saw the red plaid shirt and maroon t-shirt focus, followed by the gray skinny jeans and Vans sneakers. She recognized the tall, lanky, toned frame and didn't have to look up at his face to see the shaggy blonde hair flowing over two dark, bushy eyebrows to know it was Kendall._

_Kendall. Her big brother was back._

_Katie dropped her arm and sprinted to him. She slammed into his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso. As she secured her hold on him, she felt his two strong arms hug her back, effectively squashing themselves together inseparably. Katie buried her face in his chest, her falling tears staining his shirt. In return, Kendall rested his cheek on top of his little sister's head, holding her firmly._

_No words could be spoken between the two siblings; Katie's words were caught behind the lump in her throat and Kendall seemed to be reveling in the reunion._

_But no words _needed_ to be said in that moment. All that mattered was that that instant _right then_. Nothing could tear them apart again._

_Kendall finally spoke. "Come on, baby sister," he cooed. "Let's get out of here." Katie had no thoughts of contesting him._

_Slowly they lowered their embrace, Kendall keeping one arm around his sister's shoulder comfortingly, and they began to stroll toward who-knows-where. As long as they were together, nothing mattered anymore._

_After walking for about ten minutes through the blinding sand, Katie saw a squat, fire-engine-red building. The flagpole several feet away from it was waving an American flag. Sanctuary had appeared._

"_Kendall! Kendall! Look!" Katie pointed ahead, not glancing back at him. "We're saved! Come on, let's go!" She ran forward, her hand still clasped around her brother's wrist._

_Or so she thought._

_Katie stopped at the threshold of the structure, hand on the doorknob, once she realized that Kendall wasn't beside her. Bewildered, she waved her hand around the space behind her. Nothing. _Crap_. "Kendall?" she yelled into the wind._

_Squinting, she could see his smudged shadow about two-hundred feet back, about where they'd been standing when Katie had seen the shelter. He wasn't moving; he was practically a statue._

"_Ken-" Katie's voice was cut short, as if someone had turned off her ability to speak. She tried to scream, but her lungs constricted under her ribcage, making her double over in pain. She dropped to her knees, clutching her arms around her middle. Fire erupted inside of her, and she cried out in agony. As she attempted to stand up so she could stumble to her brother, something held her down, gluing her to the desert floor as the wind picked up again. Now she couldn't even see a foot in front of her; Kendall had disappeared behind a curtain of dust._

_Katie held her hands over her eyes, tears from fear and the harsh blowing sand razed down her face. She waited for it all to stop; she prayed it would end so she and Kendall could reunite._

_But as soon as the maelstrom had started, it died. When Katie felt no breeze whipping through her hair, she picked her head up, gasping in awe when she watched the suspended sand fall silently to the ground. And there stood Kendall, rigid as a board, staring blankly ahead of him._

_Katie found that she could finally move again. She shakily stood, coughing and blinking the leftover grit from her eyes. The sun shone down on her, almost casting a spotlight on her and Kendall; the world around them completely disappeared._

_Well…almost._

_In the distance, Katie could see a spark of light. Though she wanted to drop everything and dash to her sibling, her vision stayed fixed on the dot._

_The silence that followed was suffocating, tense. As more time passed, the dot kept expanding. Soon enough, she could make out its shape- it was thin and cylindrical with a pointed top. A missile._

_And it was heading straight for her and Kendall._

_Katie's heart thudded in her chest, her stomach flipping and churning, as she raced toward her brother. "Kendall!" she wailed. "Get out of the way!"_

_She knew the damage a projectile could do, but if there was a chance he could somehow get out of harm's way, well…she'd give herself up for him._

_But her pleas had no effect on him. And she was too late. The missile was too close and they had nowhere to run._

_She watched the scenery behind Kendall brighten as if on fire…_

"_Love you, Katie."_

_And then it hit._

"_NO!"_

**

* * *

**

Kacy Knight heard the scream. Sitting up straight in her queen-size bed, she glanced over at the clock. _3:37 am._

This had actually been a common occurrence at the Knight household ever since Kendall had left. But there was something different about this night: her daughter hadn't cried out in her sleep in over two months.

Quickly and quietly, Kacy slipped out of bed and padded over the room three doors down the hallway. The door creaked slightly when she opened it.

The noise seemed to snap the thrashing body on the bed out of its trance. Katie shot her eyes open, breathing heavily, wetness on her face. She felt the bed dip as her mother sat down and gathered her up into a loving, worried embrace. Katie was too mentally exhausted to return the gesture, so she just let herself be held; she hadn't been held that way in months and it felt amazing.

And she hadn't had a dream like _that_ for over two months.

The first month after Kendall's departure had been the hardest. Two nights later, Mrs. Knight had found herself in Katie's room with a bat; her youngest child had been screaming bloody murder like someone had broken into her room. It had taken Kacy almost fifteen minutes to wake Katie up. She was frantic and had immediately wrapped herself around her mother's torso, sobbing and convulsing uncontrollably. Kacy had encircled Katie unbreakably, whispering sweet nothings into her hair, telling her that everything was alright. Each time this happened, she would eventually nod off the same way, crying herself into a distressed sleep.

The intense shrieking lasted about three-and-a-half more weeks; then the cries quieted over the next four months until there was nothing but tiny whimpers escaping the young girl's lips.

Truthfully, Kacy had been terrified the first night Katie hadn't made any noise.

Now she was just as frightened. Katie was much more distraught than she had been in the past; it must have been a _really_ bad dream to produce this reaction from her.

But all Kacy could do was hold her daughter to her chest, petting her hair softly and murmuring nothings into her ear. After fifteen minutes of waterworks and muffled screaming, Katie finally calmed down enough to look up at her mother. Even in the dim light that the moon cast into her bedroom window, she could tell her mother was seriously scared and worried.

"Mommy…" Katie breathed, letting her voice carry on a shaky breath.

"Oh, baby," the mother whispered lovingly. Her daughter hadn't called her that in almost three years. How things had changed… "You're fine now." She paused. "Was it about…"

She didn't need to finish her statement for Katie to understand what she was asking- yes, the nightmare _was_ about her brother. All Katie did was nod sadly.

Kacy let out a long sigh and wiped her daughter's tears with her thumb. "Katie, honey, it's alright. It was just a dream." She gathered her into a hug. "Go back to sleep." She kissed Katie's forehead and gently laid her down on the bed.

Walking out, Kacy stopped in het tracks when Katie softly called out, "Momma?"

The woman turned toward her child. "Yes, sweetie?"

The tween looked down at her sheets, feeling sheepish about something. Finally she spoke. "Momma, can I…sleep in your bed tonight?" She barely mumbled the last part.

Momma Knight smiled and had a brief vision of Katie as a young girl, saying the exact same thing when Kendall had his first overnight in a hospital after an accident. _She really does love her brother _so_ much._

"Of course." She padded over to her daughter's bed and gently hoisted her up and off the mattress. Clasping hands, they walked out of Katie's bedroom and down the hall to Kacy's.

She flopped down on her four-poster bed, and Katie jumped onto it soon after.

Kacy pulled the sheets over them both as Katie snuggled into her side. The shared warmth was something that neither of them had felt in the longest time.

Katie tucked herself more into her mother, feeling her eyes become heavy. Soon enough, she drifted into a calm, dreamless sleep- something she hadn't had in over seven months.

* * *

**Okay, I'll say it- I actually cried while writing this. -dies-**

**So just in case you didn't catch that at the end, it's been seven months since Kendall left. Sorry if anything seems OOC, but this is a pretty traumatic experience. I've never had to go through this myself, but I do know people who are serving. I'm not sure if the war will even last that long (but knowing our world, it will).**

**But in honor of them, I'd like to dedicate this story to all of our Military personnel, and the families they have behind them to give them support. I must admit, I'm not for the war, but I will _always_ support the troops.**

**R & R please! All kinds of criticism are welcome on this 'cause I know it's a touchy subject. =/**


	2. Part II

**Wow, it's been what, like FOUR MONTHS since I started this? I am EXTREMELY sorry to keep all of you (however many of you there are) waiting like this. No, I did not give up on this story, I just had the kind of Writer's Block where you know how it's goiing to go, but you just can't seem to get it down on paper (I'm old school and HAVE to write everything before I type it.) I feel horrible about that. =/**

**But I _can_ tell you now that this story _will_ be more than three chapters long. There's no possible way I could get it where I want it to go in one more chapter after this unless I made this one and the next one over, like, 10,000 words each. Blech.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

_(Wednesday afternoon)_

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

"_Hello?_"

"Logan! Hi!"

There was a pause. "…Mrs. Knight?" he asked in astonishment.

She chuckled a little nervously. "Yeah, it's me. How are you doing, hun?"

Logan smiled into the phone. "I'm good, Mama K. Busy. You know…" Logan had entered into the pre-med program at the University of Minnesota Morris, so he was constantly doing the overload of book work he was given every night.

"I do know, sweetheart," Kacy replied gently. She was so proud of how far her boys had come- even though only one of them was biologically hers. "And I hope you're doing well. But I have a favor to ask of you."

Logan detected a hint of worry in his pseudo-mother's voice. "Yeah, sure. What do you need?"

"Well," she began. "It's about Katie."

"W-what about Katie?" the raven-haired boy questioned.

Kacy took a breath before continuing. "She's been having a really tough time lately."

"How so?" the genius inquired.

Mrs. Knight inhaled shakily. "She- she had a…she woke up screaming again."

Logan understood immediately. All of the boys- except Kendall- knew of Katie's frequent 'wake-up-screaming' nightmares. It tore at their hearts knowing she was suffering, and they wished they could do more. Tears came to his eyes just thinking about it. He sniffled and asked, "Is there anything I can do, Mama Knight?"

Kacy smiled. "Actually, yes. I was wondering if you could possibly come over and see Katie. I thought seeing one of you boys would bring her comfort because you were so close to Kendall. And since you're the closest to us travel-wise…"

"I understand completely," Logan agreed. He thought for a minute before continuing. "I can't come over for a couple days, but I have a free weekend this weekend. Will that be alright?"

Crystal drops of happiness flowed from Kacy's hazel-green orbs. "Of course, sweetheart-whenever; just as long as you _get_ here. It'll be so good to see you again."

"You too, Mama Knight. Katie's pretty much my _and_ James' _and_ Carlos' sister, too. We'd do anything for her."

An overwhelming sense of hope washed over the worried mother. "Thank you, Logan," she managed to squeak out.

"It'll be alright soon, mom," Logan cooed from the other end. "How about I stay with Katie the whole weekend? It'll give you time to relax while I watch her. You both deserve some fun time after all you've been through."

"Are you sure?" Kacy asked hesitantly. "I don't want to impugn on your studies-"

"Katie is much more important than that right now," the genius interrupted. "She needs everyone she can get. I'm more than willing to not do schoolwork for a couple days to be with you two."

Kacy knew there would be no swaying the eighteen-year-old, so she sighed and responded, "Then I guess I'll see you this weekend. I'll make the bed up for you in the guest room."

_Just like old times_, Logan thought nostalgically. "Thanks Mama Knight. I'll call you when I'm on my way. I'll come down Friday night."

"No problem, sweetheart. I've missed you boys."

"I've missed you too- you _and _Katie. I'll see you Friday."

"Alright, Logan. Be safe," Kacy warned in a motherly way.

"I will, don't worry! You know me…" He heard Kacy chuckle lightly on the other end. "'Bye, mom."

"Goodbye, sweetie." They both hung up and Kacy knew she could count on Logan to get them through this.'

* * *

Kacy hadn't told her daughter about Logan coming to visit. It wasn't like she didn't want to tell her, she just decided that if Katie asked, she'd tell her. There were no secrets between them, but Kacy chose to leave Katie to herself for the next couple days before Logan's arrival. She knew her children, and her daughter would be more than grateful for a surprise visit from her brother's best friend.

It was Friday afternoon now, and Mrs. Knight was taking a hot, relaxing shower. Since Logan had assured her that he would keep Katie entertained, he had also _insisted_ that Kacy go out and do something for herself. She was going to catch up with her girlfriends she hadn't seen in ages, just down to the local sports bar for a couple friendly drinks. If she was going out, she might as well look nice.

She heard the front door open from the bathroom, and immediately, Kacy registered that Katie had just gotten home from school. She smiled to herself, anxious to not tell her daughter about the surprise later.

Katie dropped her backpack next to the couch. Tiredly, she walked over to the kitchen to grab her daily after-school snack. Opening the pantry and finding nothing appealing, she moved to the fridge. As she was rifling through it, the phone began ringing. Katie knew her mom was in the shower, so she jogged over to where the cordless phone was lying on the living room coffee table. "Hello?" she answered.

"Hi Katie; it's Logan."

"L-Logan?" the girl stuttered.

Logan smiled on the other end. "Yeah, it's me. How have you been lately, Kates? Did you have a good Friday?"

It comforted Katie hearing Logan's sweet small talk. He always wanted to make sure everyone else was okay before himself. "I'm good, I guess. It wasn't my best Friday, but it wasn't bad," she shrugged.

"Well, I hope your weekend goes alright." He grinned to himself, trying not to give away the big reveal. "Listen, can I talk to your mom for a minute?"

Katie was confused. "She's in the shower…what did you need Logan?"

Taken aback by the sudden change, Logan said, "Oh! Well, it's not _that_ important. Can you just tell her I called?"

"Yeah, sure. But are you positive it's not important? I can go ask her now-"

"No, no, no, Katie, it's quite alright I've got something to do pretty soon, so I'll just let you go."

"Okay." The tween's voice sounded minutely disappointed.

Logan sensed this. "Hey! It'll be alright. It was still nice talking to you baby sis. I've missed you- we _all_ miss you."

Katie smiled widely at the thought. "I miss you guys, too. I miss having four brothers around all the time."

The genius couldn't help but chuckle. "Me, too, Katie. But don't forget, we're all just a phone call away." There was a semi-awkward silence as they realized they couldn't call a certain person every day. "Well, anyways, I'm gonna go. Call me anytime if you need to chat, okay?"

The young girl grinned slightly. "Sure, Logie."

He felt his heart clench at the old nickname. He couldn't remember the last time someone had called him that, let alone little Katie. "Alright, kiddo," he said, trying to hide the tears in his voice. "I'll talk to you later. Love you."

"Love you too, Logan." And with that, they hung up. Katie placed the phone next to her on the couch- which she hadn't realized she'd been sitting on- and just let the phone call soak in. this was the first time in quite a while that she'd heard from _any_ of the boys, let alone her brother, who was half a world away.

One thing was for sure, though: if she couldn't talk to Kendall, she was glad to be able to speak with Logan. He was the softer, more logical one of the four teens, and she was probably closer to him than she was with James or Carlos.

But still, nothing could come between a bond between a sister and brother by blood.

Footsteps clicking down the hallway snapped young Katie out of her reverie. "What was that, Katie?" came the voice of her mother.

The tween turned around on her couch cushion and looked at the woman. "Oh, it was Logan. He just wanted to let you know that he called. Is everything okay, mom?"

Kacy smiled kindly at her daughter. "Of course, sweetheart. Everything's fine. Don't worry about it." She walked over and ruffled Katie's hair affectionately, using the hand that wasn't putting an earring in her earlobe. "Now, I'm going to leave in a bit, so let me go make a quick call, okay?"

The girl nodded, but Mrs. Knight was already back down the hall. She quickly became bored and ended up turning on the TV to some cop show she loved. For once, however, she didn't feel any excitement watching it. It could have been the old stored away feelings about her brother, but the episode was a repeat. Right now she couldn't care less _why_ she was feeling so crappy.

"Katie!"

The young girl whipped her head around at the sudden exclamation. Snapping out of her train of thought, she saw her mother standing behind the couch with a hand placed gently on her shoulder and a slightly worried expression on her face. Recovering quickly, Katie said to her mother, "Oh, sorry. Hey mom. What's up?"

Taken aback by her daughter's abrupt change, Kacy continued with what she was going to say. "Yes, well, I'm leaving now. So I'm just going to grab my purse. Are you sure you're okay to be by yourself tonight? Why don't you have a friend over, sweetheart?"

Katie's lips tugged upward minutely at her mother's attempt to cheer her up. "Nah, mom. I'm not really in the mood for that."

Kacy's heart stung at her little girl's defeated voice. "Alright, Katie. But if you change your mind, feel free to invite someone over, okay? I'm sorry that I'm leaving you alone tonight, but the girls thought I needed a night out…"

"It's okay mom," Katie reassured her. "You deserve it. We've all been struggling for a while. It'll be good for you to get out and enjoy yourself." She smiled small at her mother.

The woman had now grabbed her purse and returned to the living room. Seeing that Katie hadn't really moved at all, she stepped behind the couch and wrapped her arms around the frail girl. "I love you, pumpkin," she said. "Don't open the door for strangers." Mrs. Knight put a little emphasis on 'strangers', which seemed to go straight over the tween's head.

As Mrs. Knight was walking out, Katie called to her, "Love you too, mom. I'll _try_ to restrain myself from allowing any creepers into our house."

Kacy glared playfully at her daughter. "Be _good_. I'll call you when I'm on my way home." And then she was out the door.

Katie listened to her mom's car start up and drive away, realizing that she was alone now.

In the car, Kacy noticed a familiar vehicle coming her way. She beamed and waved, recognizing Logan. Since they were in the neighborhood still, they were traveling slow enough to see each other. The genius mouthed, "Hi momma Knight!" In return, Kacy blew a motherly kiss at him and mouthed back, "Have fun. I love you." Logan took his hands off the wheel briefly to make a heart sign with his fingers at his pseudo-mom. They watched each other drive in the opposite direction, and as soon as the moment started, it was gone, and they both continued on their way.

Back in the house, Katie quickly became bored with the show she was watching, so she thought she'd take a quick nap before making herself dinner. She threw the blanket on the back of the couch onto her small frame and snuggled into the fluff cushions, lapsing into a light sleep.

She hadn't even gotten to sleep- at _all_- because a knock startled her awake minutes later. _Jeez_, she thought bitterly, trudging to the front door. _**Now **__who's at the door? _She looked through the peep hole and did a quadruple-take at who was standing on the front porch. It was no stranger…

She cracked the door open and nearly screamed in shock. There stood Logan with a suitcase next to his leg. He flashed his crooked smile and Katie was overcome with joy. She flung the door open and launched herself into her other brother's arms, elated that he had just randomly appeared on her front doorstep. "Lo-Logie? What are you doing here?" she asked, fighting back tears.

The genius hugged her tighter and gently petted her hair with one hand in a brotherly manner. "I'm here to see _you_, kiddo."

Katie was slightly taken aback. "R-really?" she looked up at him with wide emerald-green eyes.

Logan sighed sadly. "Of course. But I'm not going to lie to you: your mom called me a couple days ago and told me about how you've been having some troubles lately. I felt so awful that none of us guys are around you anymore, so I immediately agreed to come down and spend the weekend with you and Mama Knight."

"Oh, Logan, you didn't have to do that-"

"No, I didn't," he interrupted. "But I wanted to. Knowing you've been in pain without any of us knowing really hurt. You really need someone right now, Katie. And since it can't be the obvious person, I guess I'll have to be the next best thing."

Katie squeezed her arms around his waist again in appreciation. "You _are_ the next best, Logie. I know Kendall would want you here if it couldn't be him."

The raven-haired boy had to take a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. "I know, Kates. Remember, you've got _four_ older brothers, not just one. You're _everyone's_ little sister, and we'll always be there for you, okay?"

All she could do was nod as she cuddled closer to him. "Thank you."

"No problem, Katie." Then he suddenly got an idea. "Hey, why don't we watch some movies tonight?"

Katie's face immediately lit up as she raced over to the movie rack near the TV. Her hand instinctively found one, and she ran back to hand it to Logan. "How 'bout this one, Loge?"

Logan traced the title with his eyes. "_Miracle_." He couldn't help but smile. "It's perfect, Katie."

"It was Kendall's favorite," she reminded him.

"Of course. What else would it be?" he teased.

An hour into the movie, the two were snuggled up under a large blanket. It felt like old times even though they were a group of two and not five.

"I miss them," Katie said suddenly.

Logan turned to her on his couch cushion. She had a tiny smile on her lips, but tears were flowing freely and silently down her face. The heartbroken, reminiscent gaze she held with the hockey movie made Logan remember that she's lost almost everyone close to her over the last year; nobody had died, but her four brothers had practically abandoned her. He grabbed her small frame and lifted her into his lap, holding her close again. He adjusted the blanket until she was comfortable and they settled back into watching the rest of the movie.

A while later, the end credits rolled across the screen and Katie hadn't uncurled herself. Watching the victorious movie had really calmed her down. She moved her head to meet Logan's eyes and saw him looking at her with compassion, like the sister he'd never gotten from his parents. "How are you feeling, kiddo?"

Katie was getting a little annoyed with the nickname but let it slide. "Eh, good, I guess. Hungry." She shrugged.

"I'll make you some dinner, then. Do you feel like anything specific?"

The tween thought for a moment before finally shaking her head. Logan just smiled as he got up from the couch, gently depositing her from his lap to the cushion. "Well, I'll figure something out. You just sit here and watch Fox."

Katie laughed genuinely, remembering all the times she'd gotten in trouble for watching that channel at such a young age. Her mom didn't mind anymore, but it was still funny to hear that Logan didn't mind her watching Cops either. "Thanks, Logan."

Minutes later, she could hear various pots and utensils scraping together as Logan prepared their meal. She also heard the oven open as he assumingly placed a pan inside it.

Twenty minutes later, Logan trudged back into the living room with his arms full of dinnerware. He set a full plate and a glass in front of Katie on the coffee table. Looking down, she saw a heap of macaroni-and-cheese and several dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets; her glass was full of chocolate milk. It was her and the boys' favorite meal.

"Dig in, Kates."

Logan's voice brought her out of her stupor, and she whipped her head around to look at him. He had the same meal on his plate as well and was already enjoying the macaroni. He noticed she wasn't eating and stopped chewing. "Is something wrong?" he asked sincerely.

Katie was silent for a moment, contemplating an answer. "No," she said finally, grinning. "I was just thinking." She picked up her plate and got a forkful of noodles prepared.

"About the others?"

Katie's fork paused centimeters away from her mouth. She turned to him sadly. "Yeah."

Logan only sent her an apologetic smile. "Me too, baby sister; me too."

They continued eating, and when they were finished, Katie volunteered to take care of the dishes. She placed everything in the dishwasher, even taking care of the leftover food and the cookware that Logan used; it was the least she could do, after all. The clock display on the microwave read _7:26_ and Katie silently wondered how it had suddenly gotten so late. Shrugging it off, she made her way back to the living room.

When she sat back down next to Logan, she noticed a title menu playing on the screen. "I figured it was my turn to pick a movie, so I chose _Toy Story 3_," Logan explained.

Everyone Katie knew had grown up with those movies, especially the four boys. "That's perfect," she smiled.

Before pressing 'play', Logan ran to the kitchen to make extra-butter popcorn. He came back minutes later with two large bowls- one for each of them- filled to the brim with over-buttered kernels. He handed Katie hers and flopped down onto the couch, spilling several kernels on his sweater.

Watching the movie, Logan was practically reliving his childhood. It made him realize how much things had changed lately: thirteen years ago for the last movie, Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos were in kindergarten and had promised to be together forever. Katie hadn't even been born yet! Now…they weren't even in the same _state_. Remembering all the transitions he went through like Andy was in the movie brought tears to the genius's eyes. He unconsciously snaked one arm around Katie's tiny shoulders and held her closer.

Katie was feeling very similar to Logan. She looked up at him and saw the childlike innocence sparkling in his eyes as he watched the toys' journey. She could tell he really missed being a kid.

They'd been watching the movie a while when Katie suddenly felt her eyelids became heavy. She subtly cradled herself into Logan's side and shut her eyes, drifting off to sleep.

The movie finished soon enough and Logan had several tear tracks down his cheeks; that movie _always_ seemed to get to him, no matter how many times he'd watched it. As he stretched his stiff muscles, he spotted Katie curled up into him, snoozing softly. He smiled at the precious sight. Not wanting to wake her, he turned off the TV and scooped into his arms. He trudged carefully to the stairs and up to the bedrooms. He stopped at the girl's room and silently opened the door. It was almost the same as when he'd last been at the Knight household about eight months ago. _Same old Katie_, he thought to himself.

He gently set her down atop the covers before slipping her legs underneath the comforter. He tucked her in gingerly and swept her hair out of her peaceful face in a brotherly way. As he was walking out, he heard a small voice from behind him. "Don't go."

And he didn't. He padded back over to Katie's bed and got under the blankets next to her. She immediately snuggled up to him, burying her face in his chest. Logan wrapped his arms around her lovingly and rested his head on top of hers, sighing deeply. They both fell asleep under a starry ceiling, the little plastic pieces above them glowing, lulling the two into dreamland.

o o o

Kacy returned home at midnight. She saw that a few lights were still on but saw neither of her 'children'. Venturing upstairs to get ready for bed anyway, she passed Katie's door, which was slightly ajar, and decided to peek in. the sight before her pulled at her heartstrings: there, laying together on a twin size bed were Logan and tiny little Katie holding each other while slumbering softly. She was so glad to have another son in the house, if only for a weekend, because Kacy could already tell that Katie was happier.

She was smiling as she slept in Logan's arms.

* * *

**AWWW, so cute! C:**

**And yeah, this chapter was really Logan/Katie-centric. I've been doing that a lot in my stories lately (non-main characters getting more attention)...but he's such a good older 'brother' of sorts. I want one. :)**

**I really wanted one of the other guys to be there for Katie, and Logan, for me, was the most logical choice.**

**But I'm dead because of an overload of awesomeness in the Big Time Rush world, so I'm going to go to bed because I'm losing sleep for you people! Grrr...can't wait until college. Meh.**


	3. Author's Note

**Hey all. I haven't updated this story in over a year, and truth be told, I've lost my passion for this story. I've also been busy with college and sorority business and doing all this ****_stuff_**** that I had little to no time to focus on my writing.**

**Don't fret too much, because I ****_do_**** intend to finish this, especially since I never really finished my first fic how I wanted to. **

**But for now, this story is on an indefinite hiatus. I just don't want you all being disappointed for waiting around much longer and not getting anything. It may take a while, but I promise you all that I will continue this eventually.**

**I am still writing some short stories/oneshots from time to time, so that's something else to look out for (but again, little time for writing).**

**And I am just so so so so SOOOOO sorry for keeping you guys and gals waiting. Please understand that I have basically just hit a roadblock and now I'm working to clean it up. Make sure to keep an eye out because I am NOT done with fanfiction! Feel free to message me whenever. I'm always here to talk.**

**Anyway, stay classy! :)**


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